Rebetzin Mollie Isbee-Gurwicz: Chessed Unlimited in Yerushalayim (Part II)

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Rebetzin Mollie Isbee-Gurwicz: Chessed Unlimited in Yerushalayim (II)

(Part I)

This article originally appeared in Yated Neeman, Monsey NY. and is reprinted here with their permission

The Isbees loved every minute in Eretz Yisrael. Jack spent his time learning with a chavrusa twice a day, visiting the newly liberated Kosel, Me'oras HaMachpelah, and looking at the far off Kever Shmuel Hanavi towering above the Judean mountains, which could be seen from their home.

A day hardly went by when Mollie and Jack didn't whisper, "Thank You for giving us the sense to move to Eretz Yisrael." "Thank You for giving us the sense to buy an apartment." They appreciated each flower, leaf and tree that they saw in the Holy Land. Every gravesite, every Jewish holy site filled them with wonder.

Tefilla was an essential part of Mollie's life. When the Isbees established a Minyan in their home Mollie joined in for all three prayers daily pronouncing each word with deep concentration. She was always davening for people who needed Yeshuos and cures. Her sefer Tehillim was filled with pages of names of people for whom she davened.

Her husband passed away, leaving her a young widow of 51, still with two children to marry off.

Mollie was not one to grieve over her sad lot. Rather than going into a decline following the death of her beloved husband, Mollie now devoted herself with greater fervor to acts of chessed over the following three decades.

The minyan in her home continued three times a day for the first year after his petira, and afterwards for Shabbos, Yom Tov and special occasions. The minyan in her home was also frequented by Bais Yaakov girls who would come to recite selichos just to watch her and learn from her. Even little girls in the early grades liked to come and watch her daven.

To the children, she was the cookie lady of the minyan. Friday night the kids lined up and she would give them cookies or a peckele while doting on them with her beautiful smile.

Mollie now made her large 'salon' (living room) available for Shiurim. There were Shiurim on such topics as the Jewish home, Yomim Tovim and many other classes of varied interests going on constantly. Among these, she hosted the popular Tuesday morning Shiur of Rebetzin Kalmanowitz.

Mollie was also happy to acquiesce when people asked if they could use her home for simchas like a shalom zachor, sheva brochos or bris milah.

One Motzei Shabbos, a lady walked in and asked her, "When do you move back your furniture?" The salon was conspicuously sparse, and it contained just an aron kodesh, chairs and tables. Mollie answered them, "I have everything. What more does one need?" She kept her home simple, and her furnishings consisted only of what she truly needed. Instead she "furnished" her home with people and spiritual activities. As she would often repeat, "Who needs Gashmius? The only thing you take with you are your Mitzvohs and Ma'asim Tovim."

After her husband's death, Malka began to work as secretary to Rav Menachem Porush in the Agudas Yisrael office. She held this job for 10 years, and utilized it as another purview with which to practice chessed with others.

Rabbi Porush, in his letter of condolence to the family, wrote about her dedication and devotion to all the various projects that his office undertook. She put such feeling into her work because she viewed it as a zechus to be involved in these mitzvos. Her multi-faceted secretarial talents plus the pleasant atmosphere that she created, made her a valuable asset to the office.

In addition to her own job, she also trained other girls to be secretaries. People protested, "You're training these girls and in the end you'll lose your own job because of it!"

Mollie was unperturbed. "If I lose my job, I'll get another," she said. As far as she was concerned, G-d was in control and the only thing you had to worry about is if you were doing what you could to help others. Part of her training was undoubtedly a lesson in priority setting. All through her life, she would say,"first I'm a wife, then I'm a mother, then I'm a serecretary."

She ran a private charity organization that until her death must have allocated hundreds of thousands of dollars. When she heard of a poor kallah or chosson who was marrying, she would send them an envelope to help out, often on the night before the wedding. She made showers for poor kallos. Once, she even made a wedding in her house for a couple who had nothing of their own. She gave her charity so modestly, that her own children had no idea that so much charity in the neighborhood was being dispensed by their own mother.

Never one to refuse a challenge, Mollie learned how to do the pigeon cure for people suffering from hepatitis. She learned it so that women who needed the treatment would feel more comfortable being treated by a woman. She had her own style of doing the treatment. First, she put on white gloves. Then she recited a perek of Tehillim and prayed that the patient would be healed. Only then did she do the actual procedure. She was called upon frequently to do it, and even traveled as far away as Ashdod to help people. She had the strength to do what many others found difficult, as she so strongly believed, "Have a Ratzon to do for Hashem, and He'll help you through."

She visited numerous elderly people in their homes. The Isbee children were amazed at the number of people who visited during shiva who told them, "Your mother used to visit my mother." One woman told them, "For 13 years your mother called me, and asked how my sick father and mother were doing."

She was also involved in a number of cases involving domestic harmony. Her common sense and fast perception often grasped the problems and led to a speedy resolution. One Erev Yom Kippur she disappeared from her home and wouldn't tell her family where she had gone. Much later they found out she had gone for an important matter involving shalom bayis, and succeeded in returning calm to a couple.

An acquaintance in the neighborhood was once crying to Mollie about what a large mortgage she had. Mollie immediately replied, "Come to me and I'll give you a loan." When the woman came to the house to receive the loan, she found an envelope containing $2,000 with warm blessings written on the envelope. That kind gesture encouraged the woman and gave her the reinforcement she needed to gather together the rest of the sum.

Her warmth and friendliness encompassed not only her own family and acquaintances, but even relationships which do not come easy for most. Her daughter-in-law recalls that the first time that they met she received such a warm kiss, that she felt enveloped with love and all nervousness just melted away.

Throughout the years, Mollie maintained a relationship as close as daughter and mother with her daughters-in-law. When her daughter-in-law became a principal, she often asked Mollie questions about her students. Her intuition and innate wisdom was always practical and to the point.

When her children were all married, Mollie took in girls to live with her. She didn't need their company or assistance, but she took them in because it was another way for her to do kindness with others. She fed them, advised them, and made shidduchim for many of them. American girls who had come to study for a year in seminary, made her home a frequent stop. Some used her home as a study hall where they prepared for their tests. They knew that as long as there was a tabletop empty somewhere in the house, it was theirs for the taking. Of course, Mollie sweetened the visit by serving them coffee and cake.

Her extreme selflessness and kindness in making her home available to others sometimes led exuberant girls to think it was a shelter for the homeless. Once, a girl knocked unannounced on the door of her house and called out, Hi! I'm here for the summer!"

Where does one find young teenagers being drawn and repeatedly returning to the home of a 70-year old woman? Because Malka was a unique bundle of life, joy, humor, common sense, and friendship, no one felt her age was a relevant factor.

Even when close seminary girls left and returned to the U.S., they often wrote her confidential letters seeking her advice.

A girl in Mollie's office was suggested certain yeshiva bachur as a prospective shidduch. Mollie called her aside and told her, "You 're such a good girl and I know you want a ben Torah, but he won't want a girl who wears slits." She pulled out a needle and thread, and sewed up the girl's slit. "This'll make the boy happy," she concluded. Years later, the girl mentioned that she owed her successful shidduch to Mollie.

Rav Shlomo Lorincz, the Aguda Knesset member, had stayed with the Isbees for six weeks in 1949. He also lived in Mattersdorf where he saw Mrs. Isbee conducting an unceasing chessed campaign. He was a mechutan of Rav Leib Gurwicz, the Rosh Yeshiva of the Gateshead yeshiva, and the son-in-law of Rav Elya Lopian. After Rav Leib's wife passed away, Rav Lorincz suggested a Shidduch between the Gateshead Rosh Yeshiva and Mollie Isbee. When reflecting on how this Shidduch came about, one can see the fulfillment of one of Mollie's oft repeated statements: "Whatever you do, you do for yourself."

It was of course a great privilege to marry such an illustrious Torah scholar. But it was also a great responsibility. Mollie's concerned children spoke to her at length about it.

Other people discouraged Mollie. He is older than you, they told her. And how will you leave Eretz Yisrael which you love so much? They also emphasized that being a rosh yeshiva's wife was hard work.

At first, they convinced Mollie and she declined the offer. But then she thought it over and told the nay-sayers, "A great rosh yeshiva wants me for a wife and I'm giving up the zechus?"

She was married to Rav Leib Gurwicz for almost 4 years. It was a very happy time in her life, and the two lived together with mutual satisfaction and admiration. She was affectionately known as Aunty Malka in England. With such a helpmate as Auntie Malka, Rav Leib once again began saying his shiur klali, a chabura in his house, and published two of his most popular seforim.

Guests who visited the Gurwicz home in Gateshead were taken aback when they walked into the salon and saw a side table filled with pictures of Rav Leib's first wife and their grandchildren. Friends asked her, "Why don't you hide his first wife's pictures?"

Aunti Malka was so permeated with selflessness, that she hardly understood the question. "I don't want to take away any of the rosh yeshiva's peace of mind," was her answer.

At first, Aunti Malka asked her new husband to put aside a little time to study with her every Shabbos. But when she saw how valuable his time was, she released him from his commitment.

Aunti Malka became a substitute "mother" for many of the bochurim in the yeshiva. She proposed that one of the yeshiva's rebeyim eat with the boys on Friday night. Rav Leib accepted her idea, and until this day, the Gateshead yeshiva still does it.

Soon after Aunti Malka came to Gateshead, she became a prominent personality in town. Local women sought her out for her warm nature. She was shortly discovered by the local girl's seminary and began to give courses in typing and practical home economics.

On Tisha B'Av, in her home in Gateshead, as well as at the Kosel when she was nin Eretz Yisrael, surrounded by many women, Auntie Malka read from the Tzena U'rena on the Churban.

"She shed genuine tears and made us feel our terrible loss," said one woman who was present.

Rav Leib passed away on 4 Cheshvan 5744, (October 11, 1983). The Gateshead community was plunged into mourning. A letter sent to Mollie's family in Eretz Yisrael lamented, "Gateshead has lost 2 luminaries - one is going to Gan Eden and one is returning to Eretz Yisrael."

Mollie kept up many of her friendships from Gateshead even after she moved back to her apartment in Mattersdorf. A young married man from Gateshead who moved to Eretz Yisrael, was assigned to carry out secret missions for Mollie which her close family only found out about during the shiva. She had sent him to bring money to a poor family in Bucharim, to pay a shoe store who supplied shoes for the poor and to pick up chickens for poor families from the butcher. The young man himself had no idea how she found all these people.

Back again in Yerushalayim, Mollie was enveloped in numerous chessed and charity projects. Once again the Mattersdorf community, American Seminary girls and numerous poor people all over Yerushalayim felt her helping and kind touch.

An acquaintance became a widower very young. Mollie visited the broken man in Bnei Brak, and told him, "I must tell you one small thing that will help you survive the coming days. If you have emunah and bitachon you will have no questions, and if you don't, you will have no answers. The man later said that these words from the heart had a tremendous impact on him.

During the last ten years of her life, Mollie suffered numerous ailments and pain.

During one period, a nurse came in twice a week to bandage her feet. Despite her own suffering, Mollie was thinking about what she coul d do for the nurse. The nurse mentioned to family members, "Whenever I come in, your mother greets me with a smile and always offers me a cup of coffee or breakfast."

Ten years ago, Mollie was hospitalized for 6 months and the doctors said there was very little hope. Her lungs were in terrible condition and they said that every minute she was alive was a miracle.

Heartbroken women and people from all over Yerushalayim mobilized themselves into action. Tehillim groups pleading for her recovery went on during this time, some of them in the shul in her house. One woman who came to Mollie's house to say Tehillim, brought along an envelope which had once contained money from Mollie which had saved her in a desperate moment. The woman stood in front of the aron hakodesh and pleaded, "Ribbono shel Olam, look at who this lady is!"

At one point, Mollie was semi-conscious in Bikur Cholim. Her family heard her murmuring Pitum Haktores, and Shema Yisroel. These were the kind of things that came to the fore when Mollie wasn't even conscious.

She spent weeks in the intensive care unit in the hospital. The doctors performed a tracheotomy and attached a respirator to her mouth. She could barely talk and breathe.

But when her youngest daughter came to spend time with her, Mollie agonizingly removed the device blocking her speech and gasped out, "Chanie, I must tell you. There's an important family marrying off a child and no one knows their situation. Take some money and give it to them."

Mollie survived the medical crisis ten years ago, no doubt due to the prayers of hundreds of women and her own zechusim. For the following ten years, she continued her acts of kindness while struggling with the ailments that beset her. Her lungs were almost non-functioning, yet year after year she was somehow breathing and helping others.

Four years ago, she was in the hospital again. Suddenly she realized that a girl who had once lived with her was celebrating her wedding that night. She told family members, "I must get out of the hospital! I have to go to the wedding of this girl." They brought her wedding clothes to the hospital and she attended the wedding in a wheelchair.

Due to macular degeneration, she found it difficult to read, but not a word of complaint could be heard from her. Mollie continued to daven with someone at her side, word for word, as she had sone all her years.

She never walked out of the front door without taking off her glove and kissing the mezuza. When it was difficult for her to raise her arm, the one accompanying her helped her lift her arm to reach the mezuza. Even when being helped due to illness, she exhibited utmost concern for Tznius. This was a lifelong awareness which she taught her family. As she would always say, "You have to be Tznius within your four walls."

For the last ten years, her children, grandchildren and their mates had rotated mornings, afternoons and evenings to spend time with her and be available in case she needed anything. No one could imagine life without her.

On erev Shabbos, two weeks before her petira, a family had just received the results of a blood test and were told they could perform the bris on their newborn. They wanted to know if they could hold the bris in Mollie's apartment at 2:00 p.m.

Mollie was very sick and was barely able to breathe. Shabbos would be coming in 2 hours. Who needed this added pressure? But Mollie consented to holding the affair in her usual gracious way as if it wasn't the slightest inconvenience. The bris milah lasted until almost before Shabbos, but she didn't rush them out. After they left, there was only enough time to set up the chairs and shtenders for the minyan.

Her health deteriorated and two weeks later, Mollie had to be taken to the hospital. At that very moment, the students of Rebbetzin Kalmanowitz's shiur were entering the house. Even though she was being rushed to the hospital, the shiurim and prayers had to go on.

Although Mollie was struggling for every breathe, her mind was only on the visitors who came to visit her, and the nurses and doctors who were treating her. Saying each word was painful, but Mollie thanked them countless times for coming to visit as well as for every favor done for her.

Whenever she was asked, "How are you feeling?" She would answer, "Boruch Hashem, I feel."

She had frightful pains, but she never complained. A doctor told a family member, "Your mother has ulcerated sores and the pain is excruciating." She didn't complain about her physical aches and pains, but about her inability to do mitzvos.

A talmid chacham whose daughter just became a kallah came to visit her Thursday night. When she saw who it was, she brightened. She asked him, "What can I do for you? Do you need some money?"

When Shabbos arrived, Mollie benched licht, heard kiddush, recited Hamotzi, and ate a little challah and fish l'kavod Shabbos.

Although her breathing was very labored, she benched, said Shema, and Hamapil. She dozed a little, then woke up and asked for a drink. She was given a cup of water and recited Shehakol Nihye Bidvaro over it. These turned out to be her last words. During the night, her pure neshama departed. It was 14 Teves 5762.

The chessed she had set into motion her whole life continued on even when she was gone. The Shabbos night she passed away, a shalom zachor was held in her house.

She was eulogized by the distinguished rabbanim (and her neighbors) Rav Pinchas Scheinberg and Rabbi Yisroel Gans. Other hespedim were delivered by her son-in-law, Rav Asher Zelig Rubinstein, a grandson-in-law, Rav Yissachar Dov Eichorn, and her son, Rav Avrohom Mordechai Isbee.

People commented that that night was truly a "Melava Malka" -a crowd of over a thousand had turned out despite the inconvenient hour to pay tribute to the outstanding personality that Malka was. Others said that the name of the street where she lived-"Panim Meirot" ["a bright countenance"] -was a fitting description which summed up her life.

Rav Gans declared, "We have heard of many gemachs, but who ever heard of a gemach for a house? Her house was a reshus harabim, as she often said 'I just happen to live here.'

She was buried in Har Hamenuchos. She merited to see children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren going in the way of Torah and middos tovos, among them erudite scholars, roshei yeshivos and roshei kollelim.

Many thousands of people came to visit the family who were sitting shiva. The visitors ranged from little children to elderly, men and women.

There was no one who hadn't been touched by Mollie, and the week of shiva revealed to the family hundreds of stories that no one had heard before.

A little child in the building asked who had passed away. People told him the name and he asked, "That lady who loved us so much?"

A youn man with Downs' Syndrome came during the shiva when he saw the sign that Mollie was niftar. He told the family haltingly, "I used to go up to her. Your mother davened for me and always gave me money and presents."

A destitute woman who collected money from her said that when she would knock on the door, Mollie would call her in, sit down with her, and encourage her.

A deaf woman came and demonstrated on her face how Mollie used to smile at her and give her a big hug. Mollie invited everyone in with a smile and offered them something to eat.

A neighbor recounted that once Mollie knocked on her door and asked, "A poor lady is here who has nothing to wear. Maybe you have something in your closet you don't need?" Even if Mollie had nothing of her own to give, she wouldn't let a needy person go away without something.

Mollie-Malka Isbee-Gurwicz's death may have ended a tremendous outpour of chessed, but to the thousands who knew her, her name remains a legend and inspiration. The family of Rebetzin Mollie Isbee-Gurwicz would appreciate any letters from people whose lives were touched by her. Letters can be sent to Mrs. Sora Shapiro, 28578 Yeshiva Lane, Wickliffe, Ohio 44092 or faxed to 440-943-0663.

(The views expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of Tzemach Dovid)